You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna play naked Twister… with the Golden Girls?
Remember back – what – maybe twenty or thirty years ago… when everybody would get their panties in a wad because a story would come out how the government was paying $1400 for a hammer… or $600 for a toilet seat. And that was outrageous. Yeah – did you ever think you’d live in a time when those were considered ‘the good old days.’?
Let’s just look at the last year. Right now… they say we got 27-million illegal children coming across the border. It’s a huge crisis. Which we didn’t notice – because we were swapping the Taliban all-star team for a deserter to be named later. Which kind of pushed the VA scandal off the front page. Which totally eclipsed the Obamacare screw-up. Which diverted everybody’s attention from the NSA spying scandal. Which was leaked, by the way – to take the heat off the IRS for going after the Tea Party.
At this point… I got to believe the Three Stooges are looking down from heaven an’ going … ‘Can’t these idiots do anything right?’
You got people in Washington right now who have determined the greatest threat to America… is the other party. We’re passing bills that nobody has ever read. Which is fine… because the President ain’t following them anyway. We got a department of homeland security in an armed stand-off with a Nevada rancher – while they total ignore the border.
We got everybody and their brother talking about 2016… when we can’t figure out how in the hell to get to 2015! We have figured out that 92-million Americans not working and a $17-trillion dollar debt can wait… until after we figure out this gay marriage thing!! And the only thing that could turn everything around… is if the Washington Redskins would just change their name.
Wake up, America! Right now – this whole country is going up in flames like a bag of dog squinch on the front porch. But the good news is… the President just called a top-level meeting to discuss childhood sports concussions. What? What!!!?? I’m Earl Pitts, American… And Pitts Off.