What if Disney ran the Country?

By on August 13, 2014
Disney

You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna go to Disneyland… and stick my steel-toed work-boot halfways up Goofy’s butt?

Yeah – y’all seen this new Poll they got out there – says that Americans are fed up. Bascially – we’ve had it up to here… where that is I don’t know but I guess it’s serious.  60% of the people don’t think the economy is getting any better. 70% of the country thinks we’re going in the wrong direction. And 80% hate the government.

Hell – at this point – even Lee Greenwood is shaking his head.

The sad part is… come November – we’re gonna vote. And we’ll send the same back-slapping, evil weasels right back to Washington to finish their job of screwing up the country to the point it can’t be fixed.

At least in the old days… these loser pant-loads would spend their time taking credit for what was working… and blaming somebody else for what wasn’t. Today – there’s nothing working.

And that’s how come I come up with a radical plan to save America. Instead of voting this November… we just turn the country over to Disneyworld. I mean, think about it – them Disney people pretty much built themselves their own country in Florida… and it runs pretty good. I mean – 70% of the country don’t think Disneyworld is going in the wrong direction.

See – if Disney ran the country… the first thing they’d do… is rename the country – America-Land!! The cops would be Chip and Dale. The Supreme Court would be the seven dwarfs… and the President could be Mickey Mouse. We’d walk around all day eating cotton candy and singing, ‘It’s a small world’.

We’d divide the country into different sections. The South could be NASCAR-Land, the middle of the country could be REDNECK-Land. And California…? California could be the parking lot.

Wake up, America. Hey – if Disney ran the country… it would be a lot cleaner. We’d be a lot happier. And best of all – even all those illegal alien kids couldn’t get in… unless they had the admission fee. It’s just an idea. I’m Earl Pitts, American… And Pitts Off.

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