You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna juggle hand grenades?
I heard this story on here the other day that made me laugh. It was about the lime-sucking British soldier nit – wit that is planning to walk across the South Pole – all by his lonesome. Basically, it’s a 1,200 mile walk across Antarctica. And, it’s gonna take him 75 days. He’s gonna pull a 300-pound sled loaded with food and gear. No help, no motors and no food stashes hidden in penguin villages. Nothing. Just him and minus 50-degree temperatures.
And then this story goes… it will be the first time Antarctica will be crossed – solo. And I had to smile. Yeah – because it’s stupid.
Number One
It’s honking cold down there. 50 degrees below zero. And that’s on a warm day!! Hell – he’s hauling a 300-pound sled full of food. I’d need a 900-pound sled… just for the firewood. And remember – men are equipped with certain hangy-down things that don’t hang very well when it’s 50-degrees below zero. Would you honestly want to travel for 75 days not totally sure your little buddies came along with you? Please, a 1,200 mile walk across Antarctica!
Number Two
They got ten-foot tall maniac, killer penguins down there that will mess you up. I seen a movie about it. They ain’t got no natural predators down there – so the penguins took over and grew the size of Sasquatches. Yeah – they’re all bundled together in two or three million penguin huddles. Hatching eggs. And waiting. ‘Hey, Frank… did you hear a sled?’
Yeah – you’re resting in your tent after a hard day walking… and the next thing you know – you’re being pecked to death by ‘happy feet.’ Yep, a 1,200 mile walk across Antarctica. Sign him up for Mensa.
Now as far as the emotional and mental strain of such a difficult journey – that’s the easy part. I have spent six days driving cross-country with kids in the car. So, I believe I have that mental toughness.
Wake up, America! Yeah – and we only had to carry most of our food for the trip. We also stopped at Cracker Barrels. They don’t got a Cracker Barrel at the South Pole. That I know of. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Pitts Off!
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