Screw it… I’m Voting for Hillary Clinton

By on June 15, 2015
voting for Hillary Clinton

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna take Big Foot shopping for some Dr. Scholl’s?

I think y’all know – I am a rip-roaring conservative through and through.   I make the Tea Party look like the ACLU. I make Chuck Norris look like a political wienie.  And I make the Koch brothers look like they’re riding the fence.

That being said – I am seriously considering voting for Hillary Clinton.  Don’t turn off the radio!!!   Hear me out.

Here’s several reasons how come Hillary might be the right choice in 2016.  Number one – I do believe the woman will approve the Keystone XL pipeline.  I base this on the fact Runt Wilson told me that while he was President – her old man is said to have laid more pipe in the Oval Office than any president before – or after.  So there you go.

Number two… if Hillary gets to the White House – every man in America gets to cheat on his old lady.   Cause your woman has got to forgive you… or at the very least – blame that cheap trailer trash you took up with. It would suddenly become the patriotic thing to do.

Number three… what did we spend on that Obamacare website… a couple trillion dollars on a giant heaping pile of steaming… ah… mistakes.  Let me tell you something – President Hillary would not have made that error.  In fact – she would have built the Obamacare website on her personal computer – at home – for free.

Number four… what’s the worst night of TV every single year?   The State of the Union Address – when some nit-wit clueless leader with his head up his butt tries to convince the country he knows what he’s doing.  Look at it this way… Hillary gets to her first State of the Union Speech… she wants to charge $500,000.  Congress says – ‘We ain’t got that kind of money.’    And nobody’s got to pre-empt Mike and Molly.

Wake up, America!    Yeah – we got more than enough reasons to vote for Hillary.  But maybe the most important – we’ve got to stop Lincoln Chafee.  I don’t want to go metric.   I’m Earl Pitts, American.  Subscribe to my Youtube Channel. Pitts Off.

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