You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna twerk on a grizzly bear? Yeah – we’ll see how long that lasts.
This is a story about the wonders of science… and the amazing future ahead of us all. I heard this story – about TV remotes. Now – get this – science has come up with a plan to end the TV remotes. Which is fine with me… because I can never find mine. And when I can find it… I can’t never work it.
As far as I’m concerned… instead of a remote – them Vizio people might as well just put a Rubik’s cube in the box. I ain’t gonna solve that neither.
So anyway – your television of the future… instead of punchin’ on a remote… you will just do hand-gestures to change channels. Yeah – how about that, huh?
Of Course – Here’s My Question.
How am I supposed to remember 650 different hand gestures? Lord, if I could do that – I’d be standing next to the governor during those hurricane briefings.
Now – I guess some are pretty obvious. Like if you took your first and second fingers of both hands… and danced’em in the air… like a Mr. Thumbkin finger ballet. You’d get Dancing with the Stars. That’s obvious.
If you saluted your TV – you’d get an old episode of Gomer Pyle USMC. And if you rolled your eyes in the back of your head… and put your head backwards like you was giving up. That’s FOX News channel.
Real simple… flip your TV the bird… and you get CNN. Flip both birds at once – you get CNN and The View… picture in a picture.
Hold your foot up in the air… make a pistol with your hand and pretend to shoot yourself in the foot. That’s the NFL game of the week. Then point your finger at your head… pretend to shoot yourself in the head and your tongue hangs out – that’s the game Cris Collinsworth is doing.
Wake up, America!! The more I’m thinking about this… the more I’m liking my remote. Otherwise – it’s like playing charades… with electronics. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Pitts Off.