The Briefcase… the dumbest show on earth

By on July 20, 2015
The Briefcase

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna pick ticks off a grizzly bear’s butt… with my teeth?

Well – I have now seen the dumbest TV show on earth.  And considering all the dumb TV shows on all the earth – that’s saying something!!!   Have you all seen this one.  It’s called – The Briefcase.   And it’s what some TV critics are calling – poor people porn.

What they do on this show… is they put a hundred thousand dollars in a briefcase – knock on somebody’s door – and hand’em the money.  These are poor people, salt of the earth types… struggling to get by.   And the briefcase guy goes – ‘You can keep all this money.  Or… I’m going to introduce you to another family – worst off than you.  And you can give all or part of the money in the briefcase to this other family.

Oh – and this other family is a piece of work… guaranteed.  They got a Daddy been in the war – got his brain messed up with that STP.  Got a mama needs a new leg.  And their little boy, Tiny Tim needs an operation… or he won’t be around for the holidays.  And for one full hour – we watch this family struggling with their decision.

I don’t know why it’s a struggle.  It’s very easy.  Keep the money.  I mean, if they knocked on my door with the briefcase… the show would be five minutes long.  ‘Thank you – I’m keeping the money.’  ‘But Earl… we want to show you the video of  Tiny Tim at Crutch Camp.’   ‘No thank you – I’m keeping the money.’

The way I figure it – I do not play the lottery twice a week – not including scratch offs – with the intention of winning a jackpot – and then giving it to somebody less fortunate than myself.  I am the less fortunate – let them buy their own tickets.

My old lady says – if you don’t share at least some of the money – you look evil and selfish.  And I says…  ‘Yeah – and when the guy with the briefcase knocked on the door and we opened it – we looked poor.’   At least we took care of that.

Wake up, America!!!  And my old lady goes…  ‘Earl… what if we were that second family? ‘   And I says, “Pearl… have you looked around?  Have you noticed our lives?  We ARE the second family.  The only people knocking on our door – are the Jehovah’s Witness.  I’m Earl Pitts, American.  Pitts Off.

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