The American Dream… is to “not” be American

By on December 16, 2013

jumping-beanYou know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna  eat a bowl a’ chili made with Mexican jumping beans…??  So my belly can burn… an’ dance at the same time.

I think I’m on to something here.  I gave this careful thought… an’ I told my buddies down at the Duck Inn last night… I said… I have decided to renounce my United States citizenship.

And Dub Meeker goes, ‘Don’t be stupid, Earl.  For all our problems – this is still the best country on earth.’   He says… ‘There ain’t no country anywhere that is gonna be any better than America.’

illegal alienI says, “I totally agree with you, Dubster”.  But I didn’t say I was moving anywhere… I just ain’t gonna be an American.  I’m gonna be an illegal alien.’

I go,  ‘Now follow me on this… Let’s say for example, Johnny Law pulls me over some night.  What’s the first thing he’s gonna do?  He’s gonna ask me for some ID.  Now – if I refuse… he’s gonna yank me out of the truck – taser my sorry butt… get me on the ground in handcuffs… an’ end up throwing me in a holding-cell with some low-lifes… right?

If I was a illegal alien and refused… he’d probably have to apologize.  And then have to go through six weeks a’ sensitivity an’ profiling  training…’

doctor-obamacareRunt Wilson says… ‘Yeah – but how often do you get pulled over?’  And I go – okay – let’s talk about your healthcare.  That Obamacare thing got my insurance premiums going through the roof.  Then I got to pay outrageous co-pays and deductibles… schedule a doctor appointment four weeks down the line when what I got will have already disappeared… or killed me.   If I was a illegal alien… I could go to the emergency room… get same day service… and not have to pay a dime.  And they legally can’t turn me away…’

An’ I go… ‘And then let’s talk your higher education.   Let’s say my little boy, Earl Junior wanted to go to college.   In some states – children of illegal aliens get preferential treatment getting into college.  My little boy is gonna need that – because he’s dumber than a tub sponge.  And then – because he’s a child of a illegal alien… he gets in-state tuition… even if I send him outta state.  He’s stupid – I’m poor – it’s like the system is built for us… tell me I’m lyin’

Wake up, America.  Yeah – it kind of makes you scratch your head, don’t it… when you realize the American dream these days… is not to be an American.   We are seriously messed up.  I’m Earl Pitts, American.  Pitts Off.

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