Whatever Happened to the Stick Shift?
You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna let Jimmie Johnson do victory donuts… in my front yard?
Now – call me old-fashioned… but I hate watching TV commercials for new cars anymore. I ain’t got nothing against buying a new car. It’s just these commercials never tell you nothing about the car. All they want to tell you about is their newest electronic gizmos. They got a back hatch that pops open when you wave your foot. Ooh. They got a buzzer that’ll go off if a blind person is driving up next to you. Wow. Yeah – they got TV and GPS’s… they got wireless cars that connect to the cloud. And I don’t even know what the hell that means.
So, I seen this story that explains the sad state of your American motorist today. In 1980 – how long ago was that? 35-years ago… 35% of your cars and trucks was sold with standard transmissions. That’s what you call your stick shift. Five speed transmission… and you got to shift through every ding-darn one of them.
You know how many manual transmission cars they sell today? 7%. That’s pathetic.
I don’t want to brag… but I had a truck until about five years ago… shifted on the column. That’s right – I am the Obi Wan Kenobi of the manual transmission. The force was with me every time I started that bad boy. I mean – you drive a vehicle with the shift on the column… that’s three punches on your “man card” right there.
Heck – there’s probably grow’d up Nancy-boys out there right now… wouldn’t even know how to drive a stick shift. Three pedals on the floor… is one too many. Yeah – the only thing you Yuppie boys ever grinded… was expensive coffee beans. It’s sad. I’m telling you – it’s sad.
It’s like this… the automotive makers say people don’t want to drive a stick shift anymore… on account of – with all the electronics in the car – they’ve got a lot of other stuff to do.
Yeah – apparently oozing testosterone… would not be included on that list.