Whatever Happened to the Stick Shift?

By on November 4, 2015
Stick Shift

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna let Jimmie Johnson do victory donuts… in my front yard?

Now – call me old-fashioned… but I hate watching TV commercials for new cars anymore.  I ain’t got nothing against buying a new car.  It’s just these commercials never tell you nothing about the car.  All they want to tell you about is their newest electronic gizmos.  They got a back hatch that pops open when you wave your foot.  Ooh.   They got a buzzer that’ll go off if a blind person is driving up next to you.  Wow.   Yeah – they got TV and GPS’s…  they got wireless cars that connect to the cloud.  And I don’t even know what the hell that means.

So, I seen this story that explains the sad state of your American motorist today.  In 1980 – how long ago was that?  35-years ago… 35% of your cars and trucks was sold with standard transmissions.  That’s what you call your stick shift.  Five speed transmission… and you got to shift through every ding-darn one of them.

You know how many manual transmission cars they sell today?  7%.  That’s pathetic.

I don’t want to brag… but I had a truck until about five years ago… shifted on the column.   That’s right – I am the Obi Wan Kenobi of the manual transmission.  The force was with me every time I started that bad boy.  I mean – you drive a vehicle with the shift on the column… that’s three punches on your “man card” right there.

Heck – there’s probably grow’d up Nancy-boys out there right now… wouldn’t even know how to drive a stick shift.  Three pedals on the floor… is one too many.  Yeah – the only thing you Yuppie boys ever grinded… was expensive coffee beans.  It’s sad.  I’m telling you – it’s sad.

It’s like this… the automotive makers say people don’t want to drive a stick shift anymore… on account of – with all the electronics in the car – they’ve got a lot of other stuff to do.

Yeah – apparently oozing testosterone… would not be included on that list.

Wake up, America!!!  Just gimme a car closer to something Fred Flintstone would drive… and get out of my way.  I’m Earl Pitts, American.  Like me on Facebook – and Pitts Off.

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