You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna braid deadly snakes?
Yeah – this is too much… I’m callin’ a meeting to order of my organization… People Offended by Offended People. Or as we like to call ourselves – P.O.O.P.
Yeah – right now the touchy-feely, politically correct ding-bats are popping up all over the place like 17 year locust. And they’re making life miserable for the rest of us. And by ‘rest of us’… I mean people with half a brain and enough common sense to walk upright.
My first story comes from North Dakota – where a class of first graders was gonna sing YMCA in their school’s year end talent show. Well – that is until some nit-wit goody-two-shoes complained when the kids dressed up like the Village People – the kids with Indian feathers in their hair was offensive to Indians. Yeah.
Now I can think of a lot of things that might offend Indians… up to and including all the white people around. But my wild guess is a six-year old with a feather in his hair ain’t gonna touch off another Indian war. And for the record… anybody… any age… dresses up like the Village People – that’s offensive to everybody else… with a pulse. So misguided, head-up-your-hind end mama worried about first graders singing YMCA… People Offended by Offended People is on to you. That’s right – POOP’s on you.
Second story – a college in Minnesota was gonna have a ‘Hump Day’ party on a Wednesday. They got a camel from the zoo and were going to let students take their pictures with the camel until… Whoa! Whoa! Until some brainiac, butt-whistle genius figured out getting your picture took with a camel was offensive to Middle Eastern culture… and a sample of animal cruelty.
Okay – the only way getting your picture took with a camel could be cruel… is if you were shooting him… or putting ‘bunny ears’ up behind his head. Because camels are domesticated animals… which means they’re… er, domesticated. That means they work for a living. And if your job is standing there – smiling… you could be doing a lot worse.
Now – being offensive to the Middle East culture… hey, I don’t get offended every time an Arab stands next to a truck? Maybe I should. Hey college ph.D pant-load… POOP’s on you.
Wake up, America. Now – if the camel was wearing a feather and singing YMCA – we’d a probably had riots in the street. Thank God cooler heads prevailed. I’m Earl Pitts, American. – and Pitts Off.