You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna try to sneak up behind Chuck Norris and give him a wedgie?
We started this yesterday – and got more today… I’m listing some Simple Man Rules as my Man Rules a’ Thumb – for manhood. On account of the wussification of the American male has got a boatload a men perplexed… questioning their own manhood. Such as – what the hell is it?
Follow these simple man rules … and take back some testosterone.
Number one – when two vehicles pull up to a four-way stop at exactly the same time… the person who goes first – is the guy with the bigger truck. But I’m assuming most a’ y’all already knew that one. Simple man rules
The sun sets every day of your life – so don’t go all soft and squishy if you see a good one.
If your old lady gets in your face and asks if you’re deaf… stare back at her blankly like you didn’t hear what she said. Which is not technically a rule… that’s a strategy.
If you’re watching the Olympics and a sport looks stupid to you – it is. Always go with your first impression.
If you screw something up big time… blame it on getting older. Simple man rules
Dogs are not to wear human clothes. Because… well, they’re dogs for crying out loud!!
Never get in line behind a fat guy at the Golden Corral buffet. Life is too short.
If your old lady catches you doing something you shouldn’t be doing… fake a heart attack.
Wake up, America!!! It’s your choice men – roll over – or go down fighting. They might take our manhood – but not before a good scrap. If I were you, I’d read these simple man rules again for good measure. I’m Earl Pitts. American. Pitts Off.