You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna drive a tiny clown car through McDonald’s and order 37 Big Macs? See if we get an associate discount?
Yeah – today I want to take a minute to honor one of the true champions of American culture. An over-looked superstar of our national identity.
Today -we salute – the sesame seed bun. How come? Because no one ever has. At least not that I ever hear.
Now – to me – a sesame seed bun is like a regular bun – kicked up a notch. And that’s what America does. We kick everything up a notch. When you think about it – America IS the sesame seed bun of the world. Like every other country – just kicked up a notch.
And a sesame seed bun gives your sammich – or your burger – a whole new dimension in deliciousness. It’s weird, right? People are over-thinking the meat …or the cheese…or maybe the tomatoes. No – you know what that sammich needs? A sesame seed bun. And maybe a piece of bacon.
What Even Are Sesame Seeds?
I’m not going to lie to you – I don’t even know what sesame seeds are? I have never seen a sesame tree. I have never been down to the seed store…and saw sesame bushes. I have never been down to the Sunshine Café and heard a farmer talking about bringing in the sesame.
Just imagine for a moment if a Big Mac wasn’t on a sesame seed bun. You know what you’d have? A double-burger – no big deal. No sir– it’s the sesame seed burger bun that makes it. And don’t think for a minute Ronald McDonald don’t know that.
And these doofus, millennial hipsters all the times try to undermine the sesame seed roll…with pretzel buns…French brioche buns…artisan cracked wheat rolls, onion buns, for heavens sakes.
What in the name of all that’s tasty? Just give me a sesame seed bun!
Wake up, America! And tomorrow – we’re going to talk about pumpernickel. I’m just kidding. I don’t like pumpernickel. But I do love a sesame bun. I also love gas station food. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Buy my Book: MADE IN THE USA: https://amzn.to/2wKN5Ju Pitts Off.