Rookie Holiday Alcoholics

By on December 22, 2014
rookie holiday alcoholics

You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna watch Jack Daniels… and Jim Beam… get in a drunken brawl?

Yeah – I was just thinking about one of the most over-looked things about this holiday season. It’s not the festive lights or the baby Jesus. It’s not the goodwill toward men and that peace on earth. That’s all the easy to remember stuff.

My thinking is – every year at this time…you got maybe a 15 day window max… when people expect you to get drunk. Think about it. Starting with your holiday parties at work and the bowling alley… all the way up to and including the first day of the new year… nobody says nothing if you’re drunk.

I mean – you give holiday toasts… you pop the cork on a new year. You spike the eggnog… and buy your boss a nice bottle of booze or wine for a present. And everybody seems cool with it.

Now – given that lee-way and those expectations – I think it would be a shame to disappoint people. Don’t you? Just be safe out there.

However – there should be a warning this time of year. Please be careful and try to avoid the once a year holiday drunk. What I like to call your ‘rookie holiday alcoholics’. This is usually your woman at the office or work who sips half a Dixie Cup of champagne… and proceeds to telling everybody her head is spinning. Then she starts dancing with a piece of mistletoe taped to her forehead.

Yeah – and then six months later you hear she’s stripping in a dive-bar in Key West. So please remember – for your rookie holiday alcoholics that New Year’s party could be a life-changing event. So know when to say when… to who.

Wake up, America!!! For most of us… it’s just another night of stupid followed by a day of spongy brain. Please protect those who haven’t been there. I’m Earl Pitts, American… get my new book Man Rules at And Pitts Off.

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