You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna squirm around naked… on sandpaper?
I hate when some of you touchy-feely, kumbaya-jerks out there don’t think I – Earl Pitts – has got no emotional depth. I get these emails all the time – ‘Earl, you are a Neanderthal. Earl Pitts is a senseless clod..’ And those are just the comments I get from my own family. Total strangers can be much harsher. Putting Down a Dog
So to prove to y’all that I have a sensitive an’ emotional core… I am gonna tell you the story about me putting my dog down. Yeah – I had an old dog one time… he was lame in one leg after getting hit by a car… blind in one eye cause the neighbor kid shot it out with a B-B gun… and he only had one ear… due to an unfortunate accident with a weed-whacker… and obviously, my dog’s name was Lucky. And after several years of limping around… walking into doors and not hearing us call him to dinner – Lucky’s robust health began to fade.
I took him to the vet… they said there was nothing they could do. So I took him home and kind of babied him for a couple months. It got to where he couldn’t hardly even stand up. So I knew what I had to do. I put old Lucky in the truck for one last ride. I was gonna have the doctor put him down. Putting Down a Dog
And Lucky kind of lifted up his head from the front seat there… and gave me a look – that said he understood. And he kind of rubbed his nose on my leg… it was like he was either forgiving me… or thanking me for what I was doing.
And I started bawling like a baby… and Lucky just looked at me… with his good eye, of course. Hell – I couldn’t even see the road no more – my eyeballs was so full of tears. So I pulled over to the side of the highway… and I carried Lucky to a grassy spot there… and I hugged him…and we both said goodbye. Putting Down a Dog
Then I fished a tennis ball out of the jacket pocket and threw it across the Interstate. Lucky never knew what hit him. It was a late-model Chrysler, if I remember correctly. Putting Down a Dog
Wake Up, America!!! Hey – that’s the way I would want to go out. And it was 50-bucks cheaper, too… which was a lot of money back then. But it still hurt. Just not financially. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Like me on Facebook. And Pitts Off.