You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna collect earwax from vagrants – to make festive holiday candles we can sell for charity? Because you know me – it’s all about helping others.
I think we might have us a problem in my house. My old lady is thinking about going to the doctors and getting a subscription for the new female love drug. Y’all heard about this? They got an actual pill out there now – guaranteed to increase a woman’s womanly desire.
A female love drug… that don’t even sound right. That sounds like something Bill Cosby came up with. But I seen the first commercial for it on TV last night. There was some stud-muffin, ripped-muscles dude walking around a house in a football jersey with no pants on… and he was talking about a woman’s desires and satisfaction.
Okay – dude – first off… you ever come to my house dressed like that – you ain’t gonna need to give my old lady no pills. Before you got halfways through the front door – she’d a tackled you like Dick Butkus on steroids… and then she would have been on you like a stink beetle on a fresh pile of crap.
See – there is a big difference in your love pills. The man pill ain’t got nothing to do with desire. It’s purely for mechanical malfunction. While your woman pill ain’t about the mechanics. It works on the woman’s brain. In other words – it messes with the woman’s brain!!! Voluntarily messing with a woman brain makes about as much sense as letting the Iranians enrich their own uranium. Sooner or later – sombody’s gonna get hurt.
And anyway – since when did we need woman drugs for desire. Call me old-fashioned… but it used to be if you wanted an evening of ‘in-home entertainment with your old lady’… you didn’t give her no pill. You took her down to the Blockbuster and rented some old Robert Redford movies.
Course – the rest of the night you had to pretend to be Butch Cassidy – but it was just harmless fun. Now you got a brain-altered woman jacked up on heaven knows what!!
Wake up, America!!! When a guy takes the man love pill… he’s saying, ‘I love you so much… I will take this pill.’ The woman pill says… ‘I found you repulsive… until I took this pill. There is a difference. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Pitts Off. Subscribe to my YouTube.com