You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna sneak up behind a humming bird… grab him by his tiny little neck… and rip out his little flower-sucking tongue – with my teeth?
Let me ask you a spiritual question. Do you think it’s wrong to pray to the Almighty? And I mean pacifically – praying to win the lottery?
See – because lately I been on my knees so much – my buddies down at the Duck Inn got to calling me Pope Earl the First. And my old lady thinks I’m evil and selfish on account of I’m wasting God’s time – with a lottery prayer.
Now – follow me on this. My old lady believes that if you are gonna ask God for a favor it should be something noble. She says you should pray for rain in a desert where they ain’t got no water. You could pray to change men’s hearts… end war and hunger. You could pray to save lost souls. Personally – you could pray for some half-dead relative come bouncing back to life. And if they don’t – you can pray they go to heaven. And for yourself – if the doctor finds a lump – it is perfectly fine to pray it ain’t cancer.
See – all I’m praying for – is for a certain six ping-pong balls come out of a machine at the same time.
And here’s my thinking on that. God would probably like to do an easy miracle every now and then. The way I figure it – the Almighty has got a miracle to-do list a mile long. A winning lottery ticket – that’s probably something he could just snap his fingers… get it done… and build up momentum for the tougher stuff.
But my old lady insists – asking the Good Lord for money is wrong. She says – he gives us our life… and our health… and our families. And that should be plenty.
Yeah – but I’m only asking for six more things. Number 2… 13… 23… 37… 42 and 48.
Wake up, America!!! Well – if I can’t ask the Almighty to win the lottery – I got to go to plan two -rub a lamp – and find a genie. Or catch a Leprechaun. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Like me on Facebook. And Pitts Off.