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Wasting God’s time – with a lottery prayer

By on December 15, 2014
lottery prayer

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna sneak up behind a humming bird… grab him by his tiny little neck… and rip out his little flower-sucking tongue – with my teeth?

Let me ask you a spiritual question. Do you think it’s wrong to pray to the Almighty?   And I mean pacifically – praying to win the lottery?

See – because lately I been on my knees so much – my buddies down at the Duck Inn got to calling me Pope Earl the First.  And my old lady thinks I’m evil and selfish on account of I’m wasting God’s time – with a lottery prayer.

Now – follow me on this.  My old lady believes that if you are gonna ask God for a favor it should be something noble.   She says you should pray for rain in a desert where they ain’t got no water.  You could pray to change men’s hearts… end war and hunger.  You could pray to save lost souls.  Personally – you could pray for some half-dead relative come bouncing back to life.  And if they don’t – you can pray they go to heaven.  And for yourself – if the doctor finds a lump – it is perfectly fine to pray it ain’t cancer.

See – all I’m praying for – is for a certain six ping-pong balls come out of a machine at the same time.

And here’s my thinking on that.  God would probably like to do an easy miracle every now and then.  The way I figure it – the Almighty has got a miracle to-do list a mile long.  A winning lottery ticket – that’s probably something he could just snap his fingers… get it done… and build up momentum for the tougher stuff.

But my old lady insists – asking the Good Lord for money is wrong.  She says – he gives us our life… and our health… and our families.  And that should be plenty.

Yeah – but I’m only asking for six more things.  Number 2… 13… 23… 37… 42 and 48.

Wake up, America!!!  Well – if I can’t ask the Almighty to win the lottery – I got to go to plan two -rub a lamp – and find a genie.   Or catch a Leprechaun.   I’m Earl Pitts, American.  Like me on Facebook.  And Pitts Off.

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