You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna chew on the south end of a north bound camel?
I swear I had the craziest thing happen to me last night. I was working down at the Duck Inn… and things was slow. The game was on the big screen and everybody was pretty much keeping it to themselves. It was a week-night crowd.
John McCain and President Obama walk into a bar…
Well – suddenly these two guys with suits and sunglasses on peek in the door… and before you know it… President Obama and John McCain walk in the door. Well – nobody in the bar seems to notice – on account of this is a bona fide redneck bar… not CNN headquarters. Nobody else has no idea those two are in there.
And they set there – right in front of me at the bar. And they ordered beers and commenced to arguing. It was like one of the President’s famous beer summits – right there in the Duck Inn. It was like I was being a witness to history.
These boys are throwing back long-necks… John McCain keeps drawing something on a bar napkin… and the President keeps shaking his head. McCain would grab another napkin… write some more numbers… and the President would take a gulp of beer… and shake his head.
Well – at that point – I couldn’t stand it no more… so I started pretending like I was refilling the corn-nuts… to get a peek at what they were writing down. But every time I got close… this big dude with the sun-glasses stepped in there to keep me away. And the President and John McCain really started shouting at each other.
Finally I go…what in the hell are you two fighting about… before I kick your butts out of the bar!!? And John McCain holds up this napkin… and he goes – ‘I’m trying to show the President if we go after ISIS in Iraq… we could accidentally kill ten-thousand innocent civilians… and one bodaciously hot blonde with a huge rack.
And I think for a minute and I go…’Why do you got to kill one hot blonde with a great rack?’
And McCain nudges the President and he goes… ‘See, I told you nobody would care about the civilians…’
Wake up, America!!! That actually happened. Or – it was a dream. Because I did have a sausage pizza before I went to bed. I really don’t know. I’m Earl Pitts, American… check me out on Instagram. And Pitts Off.