John McCain and President Obama walk into a bar…

By on September 24, 2014
John McCain and President Obama

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna chew on the south end of a north bound camel?

I swear I had the craziest thing happen to me last night.  I was working down at the Duck Inn… and things was slow.  The game was on the big screen and everybody was pretty much keeping it to themselves.  It was a week-night crowd.

John McCain and President Obama walk into a bar…

Well – suddenly these two guys with suits and sunglasses on peek in the door… and before you know it… President Obama and John McCain walk in the door.  Well – nobody in the bar seems to notice – on account of this is a bona fide redneck bar… not CNN headquarters.  Nobody else has no idea those two are in there.

And they set there – right in front of me at the bar.  And they ordered beers and commenced to arguing.   It was like one of the President’s famous beer summits – right there in the Duck Inn.  It was like I was being a witness to history.

These boys are throwing back long-necks… John McCain keeps drawing something on a bar napkin… and the President keeps shaking his head.  McCain would grab another napkin… write some more numbers… and the President would take a gulp of beer… and shake his head.

Well – at that point – I couldn’t stand it no more… so I started pretending like I was refilling the corn-nuts… to get a peek at what they were writing down.  But every time I got close… this big dude with the sun-glasses stepped in there to keep me away.   And the President and John McCain really started shouting at each other.

Finally I go…what in the hell are you two fighting about… before I kick your butts out of the bar!!?   And John McCain holds up this napkin… and he goes – ‘I’m trying to show the President if we go after ISIS in Iraq… we could accidentally kill ten-thousand innocent civilians… and one bodaciously hot blonde with a huge rack.

And I think for a minute and I go…’Why do you got to kill one hot blonde with a great rack?’

And McCain nudges the President and he goes… ‘See, I told you nobody would care about the civilians…’

Wake up, America!!!   That actually happened.  Or – it was a dream.  Because I did have a sausage pizza before I went to bed. I really don’t know.  I’m Earl Pitts, American… check me out on Instagram.  And Pitts Off.

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