You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna bull-ride… a grizzly bear?
Here’s my question today – what the hell happened to America? Maybe I was dreaming… but I seem to remember when we were the world’s super power. I remember when whatever America said – went. I remember when we could just look at another country funny – and make them flinch.
Today – our President goes to one of those G-8 or NATO meetings or whatever… and chances are he’s walking out of the meeting with a ‘kick me’ sign on his back. There’s just this sense we may have lost the respect of the world.
Now – back when George Bush was president… everybody said we was “cowboys”. America was acting like “cowboys”. George Bush was a “cowboy”.
Don’t you all wish we were cowboys again?
First of all – you knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing nincompoops… this is America. Being a cowboy is good. Cowboys were John Wayne, Gary Cooper, the Outlaw Josey Wales… and Walker, Texas Ranger. Cowboys punched doggies, drove cattle up the trail to the railhead, fought hand-to-hand combat with the Indians… and conquered the west.
Cowboys were hard as rock, steady as steel… and honest as the day is long. They took a bunch’a worthless land from the natives and carved it and shaped it into America. They were tough enough to wrestle a bear… quick enough to snap a rattlesnake in half… and tender enough to smooth-talk a school marm out of her petticoats.
A cowboy’s word was his bond… and his handshake was his contract. He was slow to anger – but then quick on the trigger. He slept under the stars… and stood guard over America.
… And he had a harmonica.
Wake up, America. Yeah – when those foreign pant-loads and dope-smoking liberal idiots convinced us being cowboys was a bad thing… they sucked the America right out of America. I’m Earl Pitts, American – like me on Facebook. And Pitts Off.