I wish we were Cowboys again

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna bull-ride… a grizzly bear?

Here’s my question today – what the hell happened to America?   Maybe I was dreaming… but I seem to remember when we were the world’s super power.  I remember when whatever America said – went.  I remember when we could just look at another country funny – and make them flinch.

Today – our President goes to one of those G-8 or NATO meetings or whatever… and chances are he’s walking out of the meeting with a ‘kick me’ sign on his back.  There’s just this sense we may have lost the respect of the world.

Now – back when George Bush was president… everybody said we was “cowboys”.  America was acting like “cowboys”.  George Bush was a “cowboy”.

Don’t you all wish we were cowboys again?

First of all – you knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing nincompoops… this is America.  Being a cowboy is good. Cowboys were John Wayne, Gary Cooper,  the Outlaw Josey Wales… and Walker, Texas Ranger.  Cowboys punched doggies, drove cattle up the trail to the railhead, fought hand-to-hand combat with the Indians… and conquered the west.

Cowboys were hard as rock, steady as steel… and honest as the day is long.  They took a bunch’a worthless land from the natives and carved it and shaped it into America.  They were tough enough to wrestle a bear… quick enough to snap a rattlesnake in half… and tender enough to smooth-talk a school marm out of her petticoats.

A cowboy’s word was his bond… and his handshake was his contract.  He was slow to anger – but then quick on the trigger.  He slept under the stars… and stood guard over America.

… And he had a harmonica.

Wake up, America.   Yeah – when those foreign pant-loads and dope-smoking liberal idiots convinced us being cowboys was a bad thing… they sucked the America right out of America.   I’m Earl Pitts, American – like me on Facebook.  And Pitts Off.