You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna pop a wheelie in a garbage truck? And then observe a moment of silence – for the people behind me.
Did y’all see this story? It was incredible. These oil rig workers in the Gulf of Thailand – which I’m guessing – is somewheres near Thailand…found a dog dog-paddling in the middle of the ocean. They were 135 miles from the nearest land – and they found this dog down in the water…just paddling by.
They went down to the water and rescued this dog. And he is now doing fine. But nobody knows how he got in the dad-burn middle of the deep blue sea.
I just want to say – I want…I need… that dog. That is the most amazing dog ever. At least until they find a dog that talks. Which they will – eventually. I mean, I have not wanted a dog since my old dog, Buster (the best dog ever – by the way) turned paws up and got planted in the back yard. But I would make an exception – on account of – I want to have that dog.
I remember one time we took old Buster fishing with us on Junior Meeker’s bass boat. Junior hooked a small mouth and Buster got so excited when the fish got close to the boat– he jumped in the water to get it. I remember he done two small circles next to the boat and then started looking up at us with that look like he was saying…’Why did you let me do that?’
As far as I can figure…somebody must’a throw’d a tennis ball into the waves – and it got took by a rip tide. Two weeks later – Sparky is swimming by an oil rig 135 miles out to sea. Still looking for it. That’s a dog that don’t give up.
I mean, can you see having this dog as a pet. You’re walking him in the park and somebody stops you, ’Can your dog do any tricks?’ And you go, ‘Well – he can swim 135 miles out in the middle of the ocean.’ The look on their face.
Wake up, America!! I would adopt that dog and I would name him Michael Phelps. Because he seems very comfortable in the water. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Pitts Off.
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