The Hot New Yuppie Food

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna sword-fight Bobby Flay… with barbecue tongs?

I have often said there is not one thing the American Redneck has – that Yuppies don’t try to steal – and screw up.  For example – smoking.  Now… Yuppies got electronical cigarettes and ten-dollar exotic cigars.   Drinking – they got fancy-butt ‘arts and craft beers’.

This is the latest one.  I seen this story – about a hot new Yuppie food.  Called Tater Tots.   Have you ever heard of them.   Yeah -that’s what you call your Redneck staple… along with Hot Pockets, Pizza Rolls, Steak-umms… and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

The story said after being around for 60 years – Yuppies have suddenly discovered Tater Tots.  You go to some fancy-butt Yuppie restaurant these days… you can order bacon-wrapped Tater Tots… Chicken Tot Pie… or Totchos… which is nachos – with Tater Tots.  How about breakfast burrito Tots… or Pizza topping Tots.

You know how Tater Tots were meant to be fixed?  Spread out on a cookie sheet – in a 400 degree oven for 12 to 15 minutes. Period. Why don’t you idiots wrap some bacon around your heads… and take a hike through grizzly country.

Yeah – so you poupon-sucking, nose-in-the-air, holier than thou Yuppie scum-bags can’t leave well enough alone, can you?    How would you prissy-pantloads like it if real Americans discovered Yuppie stuff… and we tried to claim it as our own.

Yeah – wouldn’t it be fun to see a Lexus… with a gun-rack and a trailer hitch?  Or shopping in the fishing department – at Macy’s?  Imagine the crowd you’d get at that Sandal’s resort… if the all-inclusive part – included bowling… or muddin’

Wake up, America!!!   That being said and my stand being took – bacon-wrapped Tater Tots sound awesome.  I’m stopping at the store on the way home.  I’m Earl Pitts, American – check out my YouTube channel – Earl Pitts by Earl Pitts.  And Pitts off.

• Comments