You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna play duck, duck, goose… with two hyenas… and a grizzly bear?
Yeah – I heard something the other day – made my skin crawl. Kind of set me off, you know… disturbed my better nature.
So – y’all been following this Bruce-slash-Caitlyn Jenner story, right? It’s all over the news. It’s all over the computer. It’s all over your social media. And the more you read about it – you start to think – it’s all over.
And trust me – I ain’t got nothing negative to say about this dude. As far as I’m concerned – Bruce Jenner could have had his top half sewed to the lower half of a horse – and claimed he was a centaur. It don’t change my life. No skin off my teeth.
But then old Bruce said something… changed my whole thinking on this. He was doing a commercial for his new reality show. Yeah – hard to believe there is a reality show involved in all this. Anyway – he turns to the camera – and he says – get used to it… he is the new normal.
Now – I have heard Bruce Jenner described a lot of ways. Transformative. Courageous. Ground-breaking. Crazy. I don’t remember hearing the word ‘normal’.
If Bruce Jenner is normal… let me describe normal today. That’s when two married gay guys get in the back seat of their electrical car – because there’s no driver needed. They drive past the Christian bakery where they helped put some 60-year old church lady in jail for believing in the Bible. They drive over to Caitlyn Jenner’s house… where the only other guest is that 65 year old woman that just gave birth to quadruplets. Pet his robot dog. And then turn on the TV… to watch women… playing soccer.
I would submit to you…that is slightly different. A bit odd. A tad unusual. Unique. Whatever it is… it’s just not normal.
Wake up, America. I swear I am speaking from the heart here when I say good luck with your new boobs, buddy… and I hope you find happiness. Just don’t call it normal. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Check out my YouTube channel. And Pitts Off.