You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna take a deep breath… count to ten… and then put my boot so far up somebody’s hind-end… the next time they sneeze – shoe-laces will come out of their nose??? angry
Yeah – did you see where before the election – they done one of those doofus, cockamamie telephone poll deals… and seven out of ten Americans said – they were angry for this election? Yeah – seven out of ten Americans are mad at the way the country is going… mad at politicians… and mad at the President. angry
Ladies and gentlemen – I would just like to say – welcome to my world. When it comes to being mad at the way things are – I’m what your marketing boys call – an early adopter. I’m a little like Barbara Mandrel. Hell – I was angry back when angry wasn’t cool.
Call it whatever you want – going off the deep end. Going postal. Hitting the wall. Going nuts. I’m like a bad wheel on Dale Jr’s car. I’m about to fly off and hurt someone. angry
And can we all agree – this has not been a good year to get over it. It kind of hit me this morning when I was stopping for coffee. And Runt Wilson is in there – and he’s pouring hisself a cup of coffee, too. And he goes, ‘How’s it going, Earl?’
Well – I unloaded on the boy. I go, ‘My boss is on my butt. My wife is on my back. And my kids are on my nerves. My back aches. My head hurts. And I got a hemorrhoid the size of a VW Beetle. I got iron-poor blood, a cash-poor bank account. My house is a dump, my truck is a junker… and my neighbors are all idiots. I said, ‘My town is a joke… my prospects are limited… and this morning my old lady thought she was coming down with Ebola. My own government is out to get me… if them crazy-butt terrorists don’t get me first. I go… ‘It’s like life is one big steaming pile of doody… and I’m ankle deep in it. How ’bout you, Runt?’
He puts the lid on his coffee and he looks at me and goes… ‘Bout the same…’
Wake Up, America!!! Yeah – so seven out of ten Americans are now mad. Like I said – welcome to my world. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Check out my YouTube channel Earl Pitts – by Earl Pitts. And Pitts Off.