You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna stuff gifted class nerds in high school lockers?
Yeah – I come home last night – and my old lady was in full-on redneck panic mode. She was running around… fretting… tsk-tsking… And was obviously just waiting for me to walk in the door.
She goes, ‘Earl… you better read this.’ And she gives me a paper. It’s from my little boy Earl Junior’s school. And right away – I’m not sure I want to read it. On account of – every time I have read something my boy has brung home from school – it either cost me money… or him his Saturday mornings.
But this one was different. Due to Earl Jr’s outstand academic achievements – he has been invited to join the gifted class. Yeah – the gifted class!!
And, that right there is every redneck parent’s worst nightmare. A smart kid. I looked at my ol’ lady… and she had that look on her face like she had just watched a scary movie. And I go, ‘Well – I always suspected he wasn’t mine’ She goes, ‘What are we gonna do, Earl??’
Here is the problem with having a smart kid.
Number one – you can’t argue with them. I mean – with a dumb kid – you can trick’em and win an argument. Double-talk… pull facts out of your rear-end… distract them with the car keys. They don’t know – cause they’re dumb. Your smart kids ain’t gonna fall for that, especially those in gifted class!
Number two problem with having a smart kid. College. AKA – higher and more expensive education. Thankfully – we have set aside for our child’s future development- absolutely nothing!!! Obviously, we have been way-laid by this news.
Number three problem with having a smart kid in gifted class. There will come a point of them being in your house… when it becomes obvious to everyone involved – they are smarter than you. And that’s the point where you got to kick them out. Or it upsets the balance.
Wake up, America! I still remember my child as a small boy – playing video games and picking his nose. Where did we go wrong? I’m Earl Pitts, American. Subscribe to my radio bits. Pitts Off.