You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad – I just wanna put a jet pilot ejector seat in my truck… and every now and then go flying 200-miles an hour out of the top of my truck? Just to see the look on the faces of the people behind me.
I think I struck a nerve the other day on my Facebook page. By stating the obvious. See – you come to Earl Pitt’s page… and you don’t get any of that butt-hurt, cranked-up-to-11 political crap that makes Facebook so unpleasant these days. No sir – you get redneck musings and regular American observations.
And here’s what I posted: Out where we live… out where regular Americans do their business… your best eating in town – is more likely than not – at the gas station.
Show of hands – how many people got a gas station in their town… can fry up chicken that would make the Colonel fly into a jealous rage? I had several thousand people agree with me. And a couple hundred more shared the name of their favorite gas station food.
Fact is – if I had anything even remotely resembling initiative right now – I could put out coast to coast gas station dining guide. Places like Shaffer’s BP in West Virginia and the Fairplan Go Mart in Ripley. Bimbo’s in Lenoir City, Tennessee and KEG Chicken in Souix Falls. How many people would love to try the chicken at the Toot n’ Totum in Perryton, Texas, Dodges in Charleston? And everybody knows Friendly gas stations in Georgia got the best chicken livers.
Yeah – I’d call it ‘Five Star Dining… and a restroom key chained to a HubCap.’
Or maybe I get one a’ them Diners & Dumps TV shows like that spiky headed nut-job on the Food Channel. I’d walk into some gas station – and the guy changing the oil in the bay would jump up and grab a bucket and some tongs. He’d say – ‘How much chicken you want?’ And I’d go, ’Fill’er up.’
Wake up, America! And I’d discover the secret to gas station chicken, too. My guess is – they fry it up in 10W30. Just a guess. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Buy my new book on Amazon. And Pitts Off.