You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna start punching a building – until it falls over? Or I hurt my hand – whichever comes first.
Yeah – remember I was telling you yesterday – them intellectual property thieves at the Fox News channel have gone and stolen my thing. Some slick-headed horse’s hiney on that channel has started saying…’Wake Up, America.’
Now I know a lot of you out there may doubt my argument here – basically because I have never been accused of coming up with anything ‘intellectual’ before. But I do believe – this qualifies.
So I aim to pull a Marvin Gaye on these buzz-word, train-robbers and sue them for everything they got. Which I am imagining is more than I got. Yeah – we’re maybe six months away from me being 20-million dollars richer.
Or so you would think. But now my old lady is in the act – she’s trying to be the voice of reason. Which is a little like Charlie Sheen being the voice of moderation – but whatever. She says, ‘Earl – we don’t got the money to sue the Fox News channel.’ She goes, ‘They got a bazillion lawyers. They probably got a thousand highly paid attack dogs that are going to skin you alive.’ She goes – ‘Maybe you should let them have ‘Wake Up America’. Maybe you should come up with a different phrase…’
I’m not sure she’s aware of what she’s saying. I mean – asking Earl Pitts not to say ‘Wake Up America’… is like asking Willie Nelson not to sing ‘On The Road Again.’ It’s like asking Kevin Costner… not to make a bad movie. This is who we are – Pearl!!!
She goes, well, how about – ‘Pay attention, America.’ Yeah – and you can see why she’s not on the radio.
Wake Up America!!! Let me ask you Fox News. How would you like it if I called this ‘The Earl Pitts Factor’. And here’s my talking points – we’ll see you in court. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Like me on Facebook… And Pitts Off.