Every disaster movie you have ever seen

By on October 17, 2016
every disaster movie you have ever seen

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna challenge a cheetah to a 100-yard race?  With a small gazelle strapped to my back?

As you know – I am not officially endorsing either of these two weak-kneed, spineless weasels we got running for President.  Yeah – I figure this year, instead of settling for the lesser of two evils – I would choose – neither of two evils.

Oh, and don’t think these two butt-wad losers ain’t been trying to curry my favor.  I mean, either one would be more than happy to tap into that rich Earl Pitts voter-block.  What we call – regular Americans.

I mean, I spent half an hour on the phone with Hillary this morning.  Before I come on here.  Get this – if I was to endorse that woman – I could get two tickets to next year’s Super Bowl… and be named ambassador – to Fantasy Island.

But I ain’t gonna do it… on account of – I can’t be bought.   That low.

But that call did make me consider something.  It has dawned on me that in less than one month’s time… on or about November 9th.  There’s a pretty good chance at least half of this country is gonna come un-glued.  It’s either gonna be real funny to watch – or really ugly.   I cannot tell at this point.

It’s possible we could have celebrities streaming to the airports to get out.  I mean, it could look like the last days of Vietnam when Saigon fell.  Bruce Springsteen grabbing onto a helicopter skid for a flight to safety.  Or – we could have preppers digging into hillsides – to avoid the liberal zombie hoards.   It could go either way.

Yeah – the web sites I been reading… they got them prepper food ads all over.  Three months of food for your family… lasts for 25-years.  And only 300-bucks delivered to your door!  It’s kind of like the Blue Apron for the apocalypse.

Wake up, America!!!   You know every disaster movie you have ever seen – with tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes… post nuclear wars… zombies.   Yeah – I think we’re about one month away from making that look like fun.   Check out my new bumper stickers… I’m Earl Pitts – American.  Pitts Off.

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