Every disaster movie you have ever seen
You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna challenge a cheetah to a 100-yard race? With a small gazelle strapped to my back?
As you know – I am not officially endorsing either of these two weak-kneed, spineless weasels we got running for President. Yeah – I figure this year, instead of settling for the lesser of two evils – I would choose – neither of two evils.
Oh, and don’t think these two butt-wad losers ain’t been trying to curry my favor. I mean, either one would be more than happy to tap into that rich Earl Pitts voter-block. What we call – regular Americans.
I mean, I spent half an hour on the phone with Hillary this morning. Before I come on here. Get this – if I was to endorse that woman – I could get two tickets to next year’s Super Bowl… and be named ambassador – to Fantasy Island.
But I ain’t gonna do it… on account of – I can’t be bought. That low.
But that call did make me consider something. It has dawned on me that in less than one month’s time… on or about November 9th. There’s a pretty good chance at least half of this country is gonna come un-glued. It’s either gonna be real funny to watch – or really ugly. I cannot tell at this point.
It’s possible we could have celebrities streaming to the airports to get out. I mean, it could look like the last days of Vietnam when Saigon fell. Bruce Springsteen grabbing onto a helicopter skid for a flight to safety. Or – we could have preppers digging into hillsides – to avoid the liberal zombie hoards. It could go either way.
Yeah – the web sites I been reading… they got them prepper food ads all over. Three months of food for your family… lasts for 25-years. And only 300-bucks delivered to your door! It’s kind of like the Blue Apron for the apocalypse.
Wake up, America!!! You know every disaster movie you have ever seen – with tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes… post nuclear wars… zombies. Yeah – I think we’re about one month away from making that look like fun. Check out my new bumper stickers… I’m Earl Pitts – American. Pitts Off.