Every disaster movie you have ever seen

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna challenge a cheetah to a 100-yard race?  With a small gazelle strapped to my back?

As you know – I am not officially endorsing either of these two weak-kneed, spineless weasels we got running for President.  Yeah – I figure this year, instead of settling for the lesser of two evils – I would choose – neither of two evils.

Oh, and don’t think these two butt-wad losers ain’t been trying to curry my favor.  I mean, either one would be more than happy to tap into that rich Earl Pitts voter-block.  What we call – regular Americans.

I mean, I spent half an hour on the phone with Hillary this morning.  Before I come on here.  Get this – if I was to endorse that woman – I could get two tickets to next year’s Super Bowl… and be named ambassador – to Fantasy Island.

But I ain’t gonna do it… on account of – I can’t be bought.   That low.

But that call did make me consider something.  It has dawned on me that in less than one month’s time… on or about November 9th.  There’s a pretty good chance at least half of this country is gonna come un-glued.  It’s either gonna be real funny to watch – or really ugly.   I cannot tell at this point.

It’s possible we could have celebrities streaming to the airports to get out.  I mean, it could look like the last days of Vietnam when Saigon fell.  Bruce Springsteen grabbing onto a helicopter skid for a flight to safety.  Or – we could have preppers digging into hillsides – to avoid the liberal zombie hoards.   It could go either way.

Yeah – the web sites I been reading… they got them prepper food ads all over.  Three months of food for your family… lasts for 25-years.  And only 300-bucks delivered to your door!  It’s kind of like the Blue Apron for the apocalypse.

Wake up, America!!!   You know every disaster movie you have ever seen – with tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes… post nuclear wars… zombies.   Yeah – I think we’re about one month away from making that look like fun.   Check out my new bumper stickers… I’m Earl Pitts – American.  Pitts Off.