Earl Pitts’ Top 10 Countries… I hate
You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna tongue-kiss a snappin’ turtle?
Yeah – I heard this story the other day… they done this survey… to find out what countries hate America the most. They surveyed people all over the world. And it turns out – the people that hate us the most… are the people you’d expect to hate us the most. First is the Palestinians… 80% of people there hate America. Then you got your Syria… Pakistan… Iraq… and Yemen.
Hell – I didn’t even know Yemen was a country. I thought that was a white rapper from Detroit. So consider this your geography lesson for the day.
Anyway… who cares what third-world, hell-hole, back-water jerk-burger country don’t like America? I got a better list – what countries I hate.
First of all – I hate all the countries that hate us. I hate you back. Course I don’t want to sound like I’m I some kind’a Middle East racist. So let’s just say I hate all countries where their men don’t wear pants.
Here’s another one – I hate France. They eat horse meat and snails… work a 24 hour week…wear those little funny hats and smell funny. What’s to like?
I hate Australia. I was watchin’ this show on Animal Planet… and eight of the ten deadliest snakes in the world – live in Australia!! Plus – they got salt-water crocodiles there that eat 10 to 12 people a day! That would indicate to me – Australia is full of stupid people. I am not a fan of stupid people.
I hate Canada. They got an entire country built around watchin’ hockey and eating pancakes. You can’t base a country on that!! Of course – I watch them commercials for The Bahamas….and their entire country is based on the fact they got a water slide….so go figure.
Wake up, America!! In this country we like to say… love it – or leave it. For the rest a’ you idiots in the world… love us – or leave us alone. I’m Earl Pitts, American.