Earl Pitts’ Top 10 Countries… I hate

By on May 6, 2014

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna tongue-kiss a snappin’ turtle?

Yeah – I heard this story the other day… they done this survey… to find out what countries hate America the most.  They surveyed people all over the world.  And it turns out – the people that hate us the most… are the people you’d expect to hate us the most.  First is the Palestinians… 80% of people there hate America.  Then you got your Syria… Pakistan… Iraq… and Yemen.

Hell – I didn’t even know Yemen was a country.   I thought that was a white rapper from Detroit. So consider this your geography lesson for the day.

Anyway… who cares what third-world, hell-hole, back-water jerk-burger country don’t like America?    I got a better list – what countries I hate.

First of all – I hate all the countries that hate us.  I hate you back.  Course I don’t want to sound like I’m I some kind’a Middle East racist.   So let’s just say I hate all countries where their men don’t wear pants.

Here’s another one – I hate France.  They eat horse meat and snails… work a 24 hour week…wear those little funny hats and smell funny.  What’s to like?

I hate Australia.   I was watchin’ this show on Animal Planet… and eight of the ten deadliest snakes in the world – live in Australia!!   Plus – they got salt-water crocodiles there that eat 10 to 12 people a day!   That would indicate to me – Australia is full of stupid people.  I am not a fan of stupid people.

I hate Canada. They got an entire country built around watchin’ hockey and eating pancakes.  You can’t base a country on that!!   Of course – I watch them commercials for The Bahamas….and their entire country is based on the fact they got a water slide….so go figure.

Wake up, America!!   In this country we like to say… love it – or leave it.  For the rest a’ you idiots in the world… love us – or leave us alone.   I’m Earl Pitts, American.



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