Earl Pitts: Man Rules a’ Thumb
You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna share dental floss with a homeless guy?
You know what the problem is today with the American male of the species? He does not know what it means to be a man. Women and society have wussified us to the point – most of us do not know which way is up.
And that’s how come I have come up with the Man Rules a’ Thumb. These are simple rules of life that any regular-thinking red-blooded, real man can use like mile markers on the road of life. Man Rules
Man Rules – you might want to write these down.
Never stop and ask a woman for directions. Chances are she won’t know where it is either.
When they play the national anthem – stand up and place your ball-cap over your heart. Or move to Russia – your choice.
It’s okay to hug your child. As long as you’re both not guys over the age of 12.
If you have to wear a suit and tie for work – change jobs. Man Rules
Never bite off more than you can chew. Unless we’re talking about actual food – in which case – if you’re a man – it’s expected.
The three magic words are ‘I Love You’….or Kiss My Butt’ – depending on the situation.
Men – and fat woman – should not wear flip-flops.
The only acceptable guy pets are dogs. And possibly large snakes.
And… kids are like underwear. They’re usually around a lot longer than they need to be.
Wake up, America!!! Hey guess what – I’m just getting started. More man rules a’ thumb tomorrow. Next time – bring notebooks, gentlemen. Because class will be in session. I’m Earl Pitts, American – Pitts Off!