Earl Pitts: Man Rules a’ Thumb

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna share dental floss with a homeless guy?

You know what the problem is today with the American male of the species?  He does not know what it means to be a man.  Women and society have wussified us to the point – most of us do not know which way is up.

And that’s how come I have come up with the Man Rules a’ Thumb.  These are simple rules of life that any regular-thinking red-blooded, real man can use  like mile markers on the road of life. Man Rules

Man Rules – you might want to write these down.

Never stop and ask a woman for directions.  Chances are she won’t know where it is either.

When they play the national anthem – stand up and place your ball-cap over your heart.  Or move to Russia – your choice.

It’s okay to hug your child.   As long as you’re both not guys over the age of 12.

If you have to wear a suit and tie for work – change jobs. Man Rules

Never bite off more than you can chew.  Unless we’re talking about actual food – in which case – if you’re a man – it’s expected.

The three magic words are ‘I Love You’….or Kiss My Butt’ – depending on the situation.

Men – and fat woman – should not wear flip-flops.

The only acceptable guy pets are dogs.  And possibly large snakes.

And… kids are like underwear.  They’re usually around a lot longer than they need to be.
Wake up, America!!!  Hey guess what – I’m just getting started.  More man rules a’ thumb tomorrow.  Next time – bring notebooks, gentlemen.    Because class will be in session.   I’m Earl Pitts, American – Pitts Off!

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