Earl Pitts: Halloween… An Adult Holiday?

By on October 29, 2014

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna put on my ball-cap and a t-shirt and go trick-or-treating?   And when people ask who I’m supposed to be – I’ll go, ‘Earl Pitts.’  And they’ll go…’Oh, you look just like him…’

Yeah – this week – we started pet peeve season.  And I got another one.  I just saw a story on the internet the other day… said that this year – for the first time ever –  people are going to spend more money on ADULT Halloween costumes than on their kid’s costumes.

Ladies and gentlemen – I weep for America.  When in the blue blazes did them brain-dead, idiot Yuppie adults take over a perfectly good kid holiday?  You know what adults used to do on Halloween?  Take their kids door to door – and check the candy for razor blades.  And maybe a Snickers bar or two.

But these days – no – Halloween is a adult holiday.  People get dressed up in costumes.  You know what I heard the other day… the hottest costume this year – is gonna be Ebola victims.  Now – think about that for a second.  There was a story a week back… where some half-wit, pant-load on a airplane joked that he had Ebola. So the plane made an emergency landing – and people in Hazmat suits entered the plane and pulled this guy off the flight.

Okay – got that mental image?  Now – multiply that by ten million people walking around the streets – actually looking like they got Ebola.

Let’s say there’s a knock on your door on Halloween?  You open the door – and there’s a Ebola victim… a ISIS terrorist… and a illegal Central American kid standing there… Hell – you wouldn’t know if you were supposed to hand out candy – or shoot yourself in the head.

Wake  Up, America!!!  Yeah – because you wouldn’t  know if they were trick-or-treaters…  or the three horsemen of the American Apocalypse.  So you might opt to take the easy way out.  I’m Earl Pitts, American.  Pitts Off!!


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