You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna pee on a power line?
I just heard on the radio the other day… they got this new study out there – and it says the most intelligent people – use the most cuss words. Yeah – the people with the biggest vocabulary of curse words show the most verbal dexterity. And that means – they’re smart.
That’s when I realized – Junior Meeker is probably the smartest guy on earth. Unless, of course, Stephen Hawking can type out a few f-bombs…
Junior Meeker is a verbal magician. He can take a regular word… separate it in half… insert a cuss word in the middle… and invent a totally new dirty word. Or as he calls it – in-freaking-credible.
You know how some people get wound up… and you can listen to them talking and count the cuss words? When Junior Meeker gets on a roll – you actually have to count the non-cuss words. On account of – trust me -It’s easier.
I have been to church with Junior Meeker… and I have heard him use cuss words – in his prayers. That takes way more guts than I got.
Some people claim Junior Meeker uses colorful language. The only color I’ve ever heard him talking – is blue.
I remember – we went to a riverboat casino one time to see Andrew Dice Clay in concert. And Andrew Dice Clay wouldn’t take the stage… on account of – the guy in the fifth row offended him. Guess who that was.
And all this time… I figured Junior Meeker was just mean. Turns out – he’s a genius.
Wake up, America!!! Of course – when he ain’t talking… Junior still acts dumb as a rock. So maybe he’s just one of those profanity savants. Like the Rain Man of dirty words. I don’t know. Buy my book Man Rules – I’m Earl Pitts, American. Pitts Off.