You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna chew my way through a brick wall? Crazy Bob and Wild Bob
Yeah – last night at the Duck Inn, Junior Meeker told me he heard one of our local nut-jobs – Wild Bob was picked up by the police… sleeping in the middle of the street out where we live. I said, ‘That don’t sound like Wild Bob. That sounds like Crazy Bob…’ And he goes – maybe you’re right… maybe that was Crazy Bob…
See – here’s what you got to remember. Crazy Bob will do crazy stuff. But he will also do wild stuff. While on the other hand – Wild Bob… he’s got wild down. But you would never catch him doing nothing crazy.
Like Crazy Bob one time… he dropped his drawers… streaked through the Olive Garden… and spanked hisself on the butt with customers’ bread sticks at every table. Wild Bob would never do nothing like that. On account of – that’s crazy. Crazy Bob and Wild Bob
Now Wild Bob has a three-legged dog named Skeeter and has booby-trapped the woods around his house. He’s all the time talking on the ‘short wave’… and may or may not have a family of Vietnamese boat people living in his garage. Now – to me – that ain’t drop your pants crazy – but you got to admit the man’s a little wild.
I mean – Crazy Bob one time… put Super Glue in his own hair… turned his hair into a helmet. Walks around town with a Mr. Microphone on his shoulder – playing DJ and introducing songs nobody else can hear. And when he meets people – he tells them he’s Hall of Fame running back – Larry Czonka. To my thinking – that’s butterfly net crazy. Crazy Bob and Wild Bob
And Wild Bob… he’s got a pony-tail… and has been known to stop on summer days and offer people he doesn’t know – good money for their lawn mowers. That’s a little wild. But like I told Junior… it certainly ain’t laying down in the middle of the street and sleeping crazy. Crazy Bob and Wild Bob
Wake Up, America!!! Course then my buddy Dub comes in the bar and he goes … ‘Guys – did you hear where the cops found Delirious Darryl?? ‘ Yeah – it wasn’t even one of the Bobs to begin with. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Like me on Facebook – and Pitts Off.