I Don’t Got to Channel My Anger

By on March 16, 2015
channel my anger

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna cook clams with the steam coming out of my ears?

Yeah – today I actually want to talk about being angry.  Did you ever go monkey – nuts on somebody and just about lose it.  Maybe somebody cut you off in traffic – or your kid did something stupid.  And you kind of transform into a raving, spittle covered lunatic.  Yeah – we all been there.

But when you get done… you think to yourself – it was good to let that out.  You can’t let rage like that stay bottled up inside you.   You’re liable to dent some organs or something.

Well – it turns out – your angry outburst is actually more dangerous for your health.  Scientists say right after going crazy – butt nuts – your chances of having a heart attack increases eight fold.  Paint-peeling anger can also lead to stroke, illegal heartbeats, sleeping problems… and a general decline in your chances of being alive.

You know what this means, don’t you?  I am living on borrowed time.  In fact – I hope y’all appreciate the fact I come here every day to commentate – at great personal risk to my own health and well-being.

Now some people might be thinking – if Earl Pitts is gonna make it through this life another ten years or so… he has got to learn to control his anger.  He has got to let stuff roll off his back.  He’s got to learn to roll with the punches.

I would argue – no – the rest of you have got to quit being idiots.

I only get angry because I run into certified, brain-dead, butt-wipes on a regular basis.  I don’t enjoy being angry.  I don’t take blood pressure pills because they taste good.   I don’t got to channel my anger.   Y’all got to channel the stupid.

Wake up, America!   Here’s the deal.  You don’t do nothing dumb…and I won’t complain about it.  That probably sounds a lot easier than it is.  I’m Earl Pitts, American.  Like me on Facebook.  And Pitts Off.

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