Celebrating the stupid people

By on January 16, 2015
celebrating the stupid people.

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna beat a penguin senseless?

Remember a couple weeks ago – I was working on my reverse bucket list.  That’s a list of things I DON’T want to do before I die.  Like – if I die having never played Uno again… I will die a happy man.

And now I got me another list of stuff I don’t want to do.  This is all that stuff professional drivers on closed courses do on TV commercials… or trained professional stunt-people do… that they keep warning us not to try at home.

Like I remember one time… I seen that Nic Wallenda guy… and he walked across the Grand Canyon on a tight rope.  But they told everybody that this guy was a trained professional… and we should not attempt that at home.

Thank you for the heads up, Discovery Channel… but I wasn’t gonna try that anyway.  I have been known to fall over – walking on the floor.  Besides – you got to have some kind of monkey toes to grab on that wire.  I have not been blessed.

Have you seen that commercial where there’s a couple in a tent… and the camera pulls back a little bit… and you can see that the tent is hanging from the side of a 3,000 foot tall cliff.  Yeah – they’re camping in mid-air.  I am not going to do that neither.  I ain’t that scared of heights… but I have been known to sleep-walk.

Have you seen that commercial where this woman is climbing up some rocks.  And then she hoists herself up and she’s standing on a tiny little ledge about the size of a bathroom scale 5,000 feet in the air?  Yeah – I’m gonna pass on that, too.    Hell – I get a little dizzy just watching the commercials.

Basically – they show us people doing all sorts of stupid things… and then tell us not to be stupid, too.  And how?  – by celebrating the stupid people.

Wake Up, America!!!   If it looks like I could die doing something… there’s a good chance you don’t have to warn me not to do it.  Worry about the idiots, the drunks and the dare-devils.  Don’t worry about me – I have grown cautious in my later years.   I’m Earl Pitts, American – check out my YouTube channel – Earl Pitts by Earl Pitts.  And Pitts Off.

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