You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna check for broken Christmas tree lights – by sticking my tongue in the bulb sockets?
I heard this story on here the other day… ladies and gentlemen – if I was the kind of guy that broke down and cried – I would have.
Did y’all see where Budweiser – the King of Beers – has threatened to fire the Clydesdales. They said the Clydesdales might not be in their Christmas advertising anymore. This is because Budweiser’s sales have been sucking lately… so they’re coming up with commercials that appeal to younger people.
Now – if Honda wasn’t gonna have Michael Bolton singing in their parking lot this Christmas – I would understand. That was stupid. If Sandy Claws decided to deliver presents this year using a tiny sleigh and eight reindeer – instead of Mercedes Benz’s… I would understand. That was stupid, too.
But Clydesdales? That IS Christmas. Clydesdales on your TV at Christmas time is an American institution. That’s like that little Sandy Claws sledding down the hill on a razor head. Or – every kiss begins with Kay. Or – The Charlie Brown Christmas cartoon. Or a Hallmark movie where somebody learns the true meaning of Christmas – after they lose a leg.
There’s stuff we expect on our TV’s this time of year. Not to mention – how are we supposed to get in the Christmas spirit… knowing there’s eight Clydesdales out of work. Who can have a good holiday – knowing there’s destitute Clydesdales out there?
Wake up, America! So if you’re driving to the Mall for Christmas shopping this month – and you see a giant horse on the side of the road holding a cardboard sign… give him an apple. And thank Budweiser – and young people. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Like me on Facebook. And Pitts Off.