Bingo Computers have taken over

By on November 28, 2014
bingo computers

You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna put on a blind-fold and start beating a fat guy with a piñata stick? Then I’d lift up my blind-fold and go… ’oh, sorry – my bad.’

Now – I do not know if this is an indication of how much I love my old lady… or how sad and pathetic my life has become in my later years… but a couple nights ago – I did agree to take the missus to Bingo.

Now see – she usually goes with the neighbor-lady Naomi… two times a week. But Naomi’s got a new boyfriend… and they were on a three-night Bahamas cruise. And my old lady doesn’t like to go to Bingo alone. She’s worried she’s gonna win the cover-all jackpot… and get jumped in the parking lot. You can’t trust the Bingo crowd, she says…

So anyways… we’re down at the Elks Club playing Bingo… and I hear all this whirling and buzzing – it was like we were in Vegas. And I look around – and everybody and their brother got these electronic gizmos going off left and right. And I go to my old lady… ’What the hell is all that buzzin’, Pearl…’ And she says -, “Earl… those are bingo computers “

Okay – I don’t know much about your computer sciences… but it seems to me I remember reading where they built a computer that could beat a human being playing chess. So what in the world makes us think we can beat a computer – playing Bingo!?!?

Then I remember this story a couple weeks ago… where the smartest guy on the planet – that Steve Hawking guy… said within the next 100 years… super intelligent computers will be able to take over the world. Steve!! They’ve already started… at the Bingo Hall!!!

Wake up, America!!! Mark my words… today the computers are beating us at chess and Bingo. In 20 years they’re going to be chasing us through the woods – with dogs. We’ll wish the apes took over. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Buy my book, Man Rules: Volume One at And Pitts Off.

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