You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna change my truck tire… removing the lug nuts by squeezing my butt-cheeks on’em real tight… and twisting to the left. Lefty – loosy- right?
Here it is. I am really beginning to hate Facebook. Now – I will tell you a fact – I am on there. Mostly on account of – a lot of my listeners are on there. And when I’m on there – I’m looking for two things. I’m looking for funny stuff… and maybe a picture of Dub Meeker up in a tree-stand. Because at his considerable weight – that does seem to defy the laws of gravity.
Here’s what I am not looking for. I am not looking to continue the 2016 campaign – post election and into the Midterms for 2018. I’m gonna confess – I posted a bunch of political stuff during the 2016 campaign. But just the funny stuff.
I posted one time after the election. It was a picture of one a’ them riots…. and I said, ‘Police arrested 30 millennials at this riot. The rest of the crowd got participation ribbons.’ Okay – again. I thought that was funny. I had a hundreds and hundreds of people commenting. ‘These fascist kids…’ ‘We should put them all in jail!’ Again – I just thought it was funny. I did not realize I was starting a Facebook riot. This country has lost its sense of humor.
And here’s the one I really hate now. When somebody thinks they’re smarter than the rest of us by pointing out political hypocrisy. Because apparently – that’s so hard to do. They got this picture of Donald Trump on there… and it says ‘Donald Trump said this… but Donald Trump did that.’ And then at the bottom it says… ‘Let that sink in.’
Yeah – I’m looking for a picture of Donald Trump’s hair blowing funny in the wind. I wadn’t much expecting a physics lesson from a professor at Butthurt University.
I do not believe John Fitzmondale Kennedy ever gave a speech in which he said – ‘Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.’ Then he looked around for a second and went – ‘Let that sink in.’
Yeah – you want people to think on the Facebook – here’s my version. Bewitched switched out the Darrins halfway through the show. And Samantha never even noticed. Let that… sink in.
Wake up, America. Facebook used to be funny pictures… family pictures… and jokes. Now it’s full of political thought-snipers trying to take out the other side. Let me just say – Earl Pitts’ page – will always be a safe… slightly weird but always funny space. I’m Earl Pitts, American. Pitts Off. Get my new book MADE IN THE USA by clicking here.