I Still Like Baseball
You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna hang a wind-chime off the back of my pants… so every time I break wind – it will tinkle… and make people smile? Yeah – at first.
Now – I’m going to say something very controversial here. This is probably going to split the audience… pit husband against wife… brother against brother… and cause a stir.
I still like baseball. I know it is not America’s darling sport of the moment. Naw – you got your NFL… your NBA… your X sports… your double-X sports… and your triple-X sports. But there is something about baseball – that still makes me feel good inside.
Number one – you don’t got to be some kind of physical freak to play it. You don’t got to be seven feet tall. You don’t got to be 350 pounds and running no 40 yard dash in two and a half seconds. No sir – to excel in baseball – the only thing you got to be – is Hispanic.
Number two – baseball is a lot slower. That makes some of y’all nuts, I know that. You’re going… baseball is too slow… they got to speed up the game. No they don’t. The fact baseball is slow – is what makes it good. The best stuff in life is slow. Pot roast in a slow-cooker. Pulled pork. Sex. Fishing. Am I the only one that appreciates the fact Jack Daniels sets in a wood barrel for five years before it’s ready to drink? Perfection takes time, people.
You can set in your living room with a baseball game on… fall asleep in the second inning. Wake up in the seventh inning… and nothing’s changed!! How beautiful is that?!
Number three – baseball is the only sport in the world that cares so much about their fans… they actually take a break in the middle of the game – and encourage you to stretch. I don’t care what your heard – football doesn’t care if you cramp up.