• Insurance agents… best sales people ever
• I can have any Ugly Woman I want…
• Research says… It’s healthier to sleep alone.
• Keep from getting Old-timers Disease
• Earl Pitts… Passing the Intelligence Test

All posts by Earl Pitts

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  Baby Name

  You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna dust my butt with 11 herbs and spices… and then set in a hot tub full of lard? Hell yeah –...

  • Posted October 18, 2018
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  Paper Gown

  You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna play ‘got you nose’ with a wounded badger? If you’re ever given a choice – take the paper gown. Yeah – I’m...

  • Posted October 16, 2018
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  Gifted Class

  You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna stuff gifted class nerds in high school lockers? Yeah – I come home last night – and my old lady was...

  • Posted October 12, 2018
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  Amityville Horror House

  You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna travel to cartoon-land and short-sheet Casper the friendly ghost? It has come to my attention – some people are born with a...

  • Posted October 9, 2018
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  Dr. Pimple Popper Show

  You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna take off the rough and bumpy skin off the back of my arms… with a belt-sander? Well – my ol’ lady...

  • Posted October 1, 2018
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  A Redneck Tribute to Burt Reynolds

  You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so mad I just wanna get into a butt-kicking contest – with a mule? I don’t think it would right or appropriate to continue these commentaries...

  • Posted September 18, 2018
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