You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna host a baked-beans eating contest – in a submarine? I love my country –…

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna floss my teeth with barbed wire? Listen to what happened to me the other…

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna pop a wheelie in a garbage truck?  And then observe a moment of silence…

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna marinade in a hot tub full of A-1 sauce…in the middle of grizzly bear…

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna set up trotlines for catfish in our church’s Baptismal pool?  Well – I figure,…

You know what makes me sick?  You know what makes me so mad I just wanna join the local marching band.  Yeah, playing the arm-pit? Today, I want to talk…